confession for the loved one, so yes, i love you

I know, I’ve been a real procrastinator. Uh oh. I have tons of assignments, and I haven’t even begun to buckle down on them. I haven’t met my dentist either for my monthly braces check up, as I keep postponing my schedule for some other time, so yes, I’m being such a damn slacker these days, and I definitely don’t like it whatsoever. Blame it on my endlessly pouring assignments, sigh, I feel like I’m eating shits by this moment, and I urgently need to throw up. Give me a minute to go to the toilet.

Aside from a mountain of sickening assignment I have been consuming and had enough already, there is a lot of thing happened these days, which has got me sidetracked and somehow, left me confused and wondered at such fragile thing. The thing that seems to be tenacious and solid from the outside look, nonetheless it is tenuous and easily broken in the inside.

It’s about love, about relationship, specifically about friendship. It’s about relationship that I think would last to the last breath, not knowing it would only end up sunk virtually with no trace. It’s about someone, who is supposed to be the one who pieces me back when I fall apart and makes me feel good when I hurt so bad, plus stays with me just because I am me, without any hidden reason and intention. It’s about the trust and loyalty I confide in someone, that I have faith in and believe would never ever betray me, called friend. It’s about people in my life I want to believe I can count on and what is matter most.

It’s not my problem, anyway, well I count it as a problem, truth to be told, it’s one of my friends’ matter. I have no right in probing into her personal business, and I’m far away interested in digging up others’ dirt. I feel sorry for her, but there’s nothing I can do to make it okay. Time will heal, I guess.

Oh yeah, yesterday, I sat in church’s bench, supposed to be listening to the priest’s sermon, but ended up talking with my father, about my childhood. It’s a personal talk actually, which had successfully left me overwhelmed with nostalgia for my days in childhood. I won’t make it public, but there’s one thing I want the world to know. One thing about the truth, that I love my father. Period.

P.S To the best man ever in my life, I love you.

The most memorable people in life, will be the people who loved you when you weren't very lovable. That's definitely my father.

source: lifelovepaper

when you begin to miss me, don't forget that you were the one who let me go

Breathe and live. So, I’m still alive, people. Though life has been so dull and monotonous these days, I still keep on living life as normal as I could be. Current feeling of mine: happy, happy. So, here I go with some updates of mine:

- My brother is currently taking Mandarin Chinese class twice a week, on Saturday and Sunday to be specific. Therefore, he always practices by speaking Mandarin Chinese with people at home; which makes me kind of jealous, because I profoundly wish someday I could master Chinese language, but I find myself much way lazy to attend any Chinese language course. Well, I think I’m going to join the class with my brother next week. *Finger crossed*.

- Chatting, laughing, and giggling over some random silly talks with my closet ones. They are all made me realize something important which is forgotten for a long time. The thing is about love and friendship. I am neither the beautiful princess, nor the genius brain, and I definitely don’t have the purest heart in this whole planet, yet I am happy. I have all my dearest, and I sincerely love them all. Sounds cliché? Well, it does, but it’s the truth.

- I watched Surrogate with my friends, named Brian and Audrey, last Tuesday. Well, it was not a BIG event actually, but it was the first time I go to cinema for almost two and half month. Anyway, I’m not going to spoil it for you people, since I’m no good in reviewing movie, but I have to say, that Surrogate is a good movie, and it’s worth your penny. I like it.

- My Mac’s adapter is broken. Don’t ask me who, when, why, and how, it is just broken. I am terribly sorry and awfully sad, and that’s the reason why I’m being M.I.A (missing in action). However, I’ve already got the substitute for that broken adapter, so I feel so much glad, and happy.

- I am still growing my hair out, and it’s definitely a HARD task for me not to cut it off, but for God’s sake, I have to survive. My mom keep saying that I’m not looking good with long hair, and she prefers the short one, every time I’m babbling on about how long do I have to endure the temptation to chop my hair. I’m sorry, mom, but for this time, I can’t give in.

P.S. These are all photographs; which were taken by my sister and photoshopped as well by her from our last trip to Genting, Malaysia. I love them all, but heck, I’ve just realized that all my posted photographs are photoshopped ones. I don’t know what to say, but photoshop is my life saver.

chances are only what we make them, and all i need

Hello, people. How are you doing over there?

Finally, I wrapped my midterm examinations up. So here I am pleasingly welcoming the longtime waited freedom to crop up. Well, don’t ask me about the results, simply because they haven’t been reported yet, and I just don’t want to talk about anything related to exams and sorts for this moment. Overall, I did try my best and I studied my ass off for the exams, but still there are some subjects I couldn’t do well, as I’d thought I could do better. Oh, please Novita, stop bitching about these trivial things over and over again, since you couldn’t be any more repulsed than what you have already been. So yeah, I’ll keep my mouth up.

So anyway, what have happened in my life during the past weekdays, which kept me breathing and alive, from pulling all nighters, doing what so called damn midterm exams, and being so freakingly exhausted? The answers are morning jasmine tea, Five for Fighting’s songs, my silly and fun friends, my ever-loveable family, and big supports from some bloggers out there. I personally am thanking you guys for all the good luck wishes; they mean so much to me, and I really appreciate it.

The only photo I didn't photoshop. Believe me, the color is real.

Time is running out, and it is late night already. I seriously need a super long hibernation to recover myself from all these fatigue and weariness. Before I say goodbye, I would like to share some photographs I photoshoped from my parents’ latest trip to China. They are still low-grade and trashy, though I had so much fun in editing them, so I think I’ll just share them with you, people. Bye.

P.S I had just realized not long ago that I have a tendency to write up the updates of mine, when I am in melancholy feeling. No wonder, as you might have easily concluded also, that all my posts are about me lamenting over random things. The fact is, I am generally a happy person, though I still feel wretched for some inescapable reasons. I’m really sorry if I made you guys sick by my self-pity writings. I’ll do my utmost to be more positive and thankful for everything in my life; well I won’t blame you if you don’t buy that, since I am no good in keeping promises.

wake me up when september ends

October is here already. I am basically in a good condition, and not sad. I don’t know what to say, since I don’t feel any adrenaline rush or thrill in kicking off this new month, regarding to the fact that I am going to have one week full mid term exams start on October 5th. I don’t like exams, practically hate them, and I don’t like assignments either. However, I love to study, and that’s what I’ve been doing in my whole lifetime, so there’s no reason not to love it. I know, I am being lunatic, and by me, that’s only great.

September ends. I had a vague glimpse of my life within that month; hence I decided to review my life. Well, it might be no point for the most people, but for an excessively emotional person like me, it’s personally important. So let me bore you with a quick little review of mine, so stick around if you are interested enough to know, but I definitely don’t mind if you close my blog’s page and leave.

- First thing first, I just realized that I haven’t puzzled out what am I going to be in the future, particularly what I want to be in the coming times, yet I am not certain enough if I have a dream or not. I just found myself living aimlessly this life of mine, and I don’t know, maybe I am simply dreamless, but I feel okay even so.

- Second thing, I am not a self-sufficient kind of person, I am barely able to stand on my own feet, and I’ve been unable to manage things without other’s help. Don’t ask me how could I end up like this, I just don’t know.

The conclusion is, I don’t know. I don’t even want to think about it, and I simply don’t know what to do. All I know is, I am still living a life, and I still have a long story to write in this life, so I’ll just breathe and live.

P.S Wish myself luck in the following mid term exams. God bless me, and all the rest of you.