sometimes we wait too long for things that are never going to come

There are two facts. One, I am a disturbingly outlandish person, and two; I am obviously in a mood right now. I don’t know what is it with my mind, and what do I have to do to make myself feel a bit better. I was so much irritated, and I hate being in this nauseating state, where I lead off to be a sluttish snob in such random ways. I’ve been feeling down these days, and I am really sorry if you were sick to death of my unstable temperament, I just couldn’t help myself, but typed down my feeling in this vile writing of mine.

So, people, there’s nothing more I want to share with you, well, it’s not like I’m being an annoying snob or what, I just find myself too much jaded of all things surrounds me, and I always end up blabbing on about craps in every writing.

P.S I am dying for having a long messy hair, but I just simply can’t restrain myself from chopping off my hair. I need a real strong reason for growing my hair out, and to be honest, I can’t even stand the shoulder hair length, so there’s definitely no way for me to have a long one. Oh my God, I need a BIG support.

Something about these pictures grows on me. Something that I will never have to my dying day.

Source: ali michael- last, spring 2009

we are responsible for our own feelings

I savvied that I’m a seriously acute retard. I got easily fed up with all things, even with things, which I couldn’t figure out what exactly they are, and I was all about extremely sensitive to temperamental mood swinger, plus the fact that I’m a huge capricious hesitant airhead. I don’t hate myself for being that way, so long they’re the natures of mine, and I simply couldn’t care less about people getting sick by my madcap personalities. I was talking to myself for these several times, and ironically I like it so much. Well, for all your care, I think it’s one of symptoms of me being in turmoil. Screw me.

Source: ForrestLucero

maybe this world is another planet's hell

My dad once told me that I have to stop dreaming and get real about everything in life, since they don’t seem to be what they truly are in the reality, as I’ve always dreamt and thought about them. Life is cruel, he said. I despised him so much for saying such vicious words, and the fact that he’s one of my favorite person in this entire planet, had instantly crushed my heart. You might think it is ridiculous or whatever ludicrous, but it is so much real to me, that I swore to myself not to defy every of my dad’s words. I had been a good daughter for him since then, but when I broke my promise, I found myself crumbled and left broken down.

Sometimes, we just can’t ask for more, if we don’t want to fall and hurt. I have never meant to be a horrible whiner or an irritating grouch, but I do know exactly how much it would be effing pain when our high hope turned out into something that makes us lost and fall apart. I hate myself for saying this, but I simply think that hope is a real fool’s paradise. Hope is like a happiness pill, exceedingly addictive but somehow it is slowly killing you. Life is not fair, I learn it.

Source: sayingimages

i didn't know happy was an option

Be not sad doesn't mean happy, and vice versa. It is from a book titled The History of Love.

Source: be not sad.

you are the victim of the rules you live by

School has not been so much busy up to now, it will but has not yet, hence I have some holy precious free time to write and browsing several cool photographs from internet. By the moment I typed down these words, I bumped into Nicoline Patricia Malina page on Dripbook, and she seemed familiar to me, as I remembered, she had been interviewed by Kompas, and I read that awesome interview of hers. I love her beautiful and ethereal photographs, in my smart alecky opinion of course, love her rocking stylish style, and absolutely fall for her super duper terrific talent in arts and professional photography. Above all, the coolest things about her are, she is an independent fashion photographer, and she is an Indonesian, which is kind of rare to find an outstanding woman photographer in Indonesia.

I am leaving you with some of her photographs, and I wish they were enough to brighten up your days. See you, people.

Black and White. I adore.

Source: Nicoline Patricia Malina

it isn't as hard to be happy as you're making it

I was in my leadership class at the time I wrote this awful clichéd writing, and you can already tell this wasn’t a lot of fun, and I was sickeningly bored to death with my lecturer stood in front of class, briefed the student about the class’ regulations and stuffs, which you know, I was not fascinated so much. I was much way not interested in getting know him in personal, however I sort of liking him as my lecturer, in a normal level with not much expectations, since it was the first time he taught me. Actually I was not supposed to be in his class, since the fact is I should be in the regular leadership class and the class where I was by this moment is an international one, whereby I have to use English as my major language. Oh my God, do I have to scream out or just sit around in silence like this full time English class does not exasperate me? I chose the last option. 

I was looking straight at my lecturer by this minute, and I slightly thought he would be cool, then so would I. Well, to tell you the fact, I was trying to cheer myself up, so don’t bother to take pity on me, I’m positively sucks. You probably wonder why I brought this thing out like it is a big deal, since I wrote my blog in full English, however there were some ifs and buts behind the reason why I do feel anxious about this thing beside the fact English is one of my passions in life. The biggest reason is I am not ready yet to have projects and exams in English, and the truth is I absolutely am no good at English, and I hate to face that fact. I don’t speak English fluently, and I am far from confident to keep up writing and conversing in English all the time without my dictionary nearby. I don’t even know if it is allowed to bring dictionary along in the class. Still I don’t want to scream. 

So, how was your day, people? Was everything going well as you mapped them out? Mine is okay, and I wish you were all the best state, if it could be better. I am currently feeling happy with everything in my life and I do feel content about this life, so I wish you all happiness and contentedness. 

Polaroids. I'm just trying to entertain you. I'm sorry if it didn't work out.

P.S if I seemed so much positive and optimistic in all the way, please be sure, that I wholly am not. I was thinking about bringing out my old stories from the past, but I don’t think it would be appropriate, and I don’t talk about memories, since I was terribly offended and hurt as hell just by looking back on those horrible pasts of mine. Someday, I will, and I wish everything was going to be okay in the future, and I myself, would finally let go of my pains. By the way, they were not about heartbroken things or anything coupled with romance I was talking about, but something more sensitive and sick. So people, goodbye. I’m signing off. 

Source: amalia chimera

thank you for being there for me even when i'm being a pain in the ass

I was seriously ill, and for the second time for these two weeks in a month, I went to see a doctor to help me out from this dreadful condition of mine, and I don’t think I would be any much way better for the following week, since I’ve got serious sore throat every week for this month. I can’t figure out what I had eaten in the recent past, which had terribly caused me fell sick, even so from now on I promise myself to stay away from any deep fried foods and greasy chows, owing to the doctor’s advice not to consume them and to get well soon. The doctor prescribed me some medicines in tablets and pills, and to be frank, I always detest medicine in all form, particularly in tablet and pill.

I was feeling a lot better at the time I wrote this writing, but I was still taking my medication. School has been going well so far, and I kind of having a liking for my Operational Research class. Well, to tell the truth, I haven’t puzzled out yet what will I study in this course, but I somewhat like my lecturer, nonetheless. He was my former Calculus professor in the first year, and since I uncommonly love Calculus subject, I automatically appreciate him greatly as my best lecturer. He is not always the best in every way I think, but I like him still, as my professor of course.

I’m wrapping up my writing for this moment, and I intensely wish I would be better in the next day, and would never get sick anymore in lifetime. Being sick is the last thing I’d hope happen to me, and I know I’m being dumb, considering that it was everyone’s hope. So, here I was, hoping you guys’ alive and kicking condition for the rest of your life.

By the way, just for sharing with you people, and just if you were interested enough to know what I need the most by now:

Graduation. Hell yeah! Don’t protest, please.

Money by the yard. I’m a materialistic girl, so what?

Freedom. Life with no limitations and boundaries. It sounds so much great.

Oh yeah, the title of this post is dedicated to my best love in my life, my mother. Love you always, Mom.

source: thecobrasnake, tumblr

no sleep, only die hard parties...oops, i've got to school tomorrow

I was pretty sure that I desperately need more holidays more than I ever thought before, and I am sickeningly not ready to roll the new semester. I am being a HUGE slacker; I hate to bring this thing up, however I am not going to deny if you might think by the same token. So people, there was nothing exactly BIG happened today by which to share with you, however I don’t mind indeed if you count my full time classes in. So yeah, I had full time lectures in this first day of the new semester, and I was far beyond weary of all these untimely ‘back to school’ things. I am sorry if I was bugging you with all my unimportant juvenile grumbles, yet I couldn’t stop it, because I need to talk, even there’s no one neither reading nor listening.

I was in machinery elements class at the moment I composed this writing, listening to my supposed-to-be honored lecturer but not hearing any words, well actually I should not have wrote this crappy thing, nevertheless I despairingly need to sign over my boundless boredom into something more worthwhile than paid no attention to my professor. I do feel sorry for saying these bad things about my lecturer; it was not his fault actually, but just me, the girl with a severe problem in getting concentrate on her first day back to university.

By the by, my mother had a toothache, and I’m feeling lousy either. In my defense, I think I am totally not geared up for my third semester. Another rambling writing of mine, so this time I think I probably should recharge my batteries and in bed in a minute. So, people, see you around. I would be super-busy with my school life, damn quizzes, and all sort things associated to routine hell exams, so I think I could not keep up every update of my life. I know it is not even bother you; however I love blogging, so that I will never stop writing.

I am NOT endeavoring to be ladylike whatsoever. However, every lass needs MAKE UP.

Source: Dripbook

sing me something new

I have to make a confession to you people, and still it is all about my new discovered love, which totally makes me, feel a sharp pang of guilt-ridden for being unfaithful to my eternal one, Docs. Oh Docs, please don’t consider me as a double-crosser or whatever faithless, since the fact is I definitely am not, but still I couldn’t help myself not to love jeans. Well, it is not a love actually, whereas I myself deem it as an obsession, a humungous one of course. So yeah, I have an incurable massive fixation on jeans, denims, and everything in between.

By the way, people, I didn’t feel any creative nor productive these days, and I spent a pretty big chunk of my holiday by blogging, and shockingly, reading books, which literally are not the literature ones, but still are counted as qualified reading books. There are some books that my sister and I bought in Malaysia and Singapore, and I have to run my eyes over those lines up books, before I finally have no time to peruse them. I have already finished Diary of Wimpy Kid, The Last Straw, and in this moment, I am continuing with its sequel, titled Rodrick Rules. If you ever wonder what my opinion about those books, then all I suppose to say is you absolutely have to read over them. They are all super hilarious, smashingly entertaining, and vastly ridiculous.

It is August 16th at this present time, and in the next two days I will go back to university. I don’t know what to feel about it, since the fact is I slightly am missing my university life, but still I hate its hectic busyness being a student, specifically an industrial engineering student. Gosh, I need more holidays.

Here are some photos from Barney’s latest denim co-op catalogue I would like to share with you people, things related to fashion, which I have not posted any for ages. Please enjoy.

Source: Fashion Gone Rogue

haircut is my remedy

So, yeah. I finally got my hair cut, and you know what I was feeling right the moment I wrote this post? Freshness and another youthful spirit boost. I asked my hairdresser to have my hair cropped short, and that was exactly what she had done. She shaved off my hair and trimmed my messy hair off, however it was a little bit over cut and the more I see it, the more I feel myself have always been going overboard in having such a drastic hair style. Do I look like a gamine, or is it only my deep-laid wish?

So, people, do you like my new haircut? Well, actually I hated my face in these photographs. Photoshop did me, and I even more hated the fact, that I look like a genuine dumb ass.

P.S I am still the same ugly betty, and I will always be, so be it. Kill me for being extremely pathetic. Ignore me.

fake love in the lost translation

Home has never been so good, people. So, yeah, I was finally home, and I did feel great to be home again. Well, actually I was not officially at home right now, where I was exactly sitting on my seat coded C33, losing in thought about my arrival soon, when I wrote this trivial writing of mine. In actuality, there was zilch to share, but somehow I did feel a great zest for writing something and typing some words, which the fact was I didn’t really know what I should write. It sounds silly, isn’t it, and is sure, that for the most part of my life; I always act silly and talk mindlessly, like what I perfectly am doing right now.

Remind me to never take a lone flight back, which the reality is, I was taking at this very moment. It was a thrilling experience actually for having unaccompanied flight, especially when I have to take Aerotrain to reach Satellite terminal A, whereby my boarding gates coded C35 is located within that building. Nevertheless, the fact, which I was bored to death, is seriously no kidding.

I was listlessly sitting on my seat, peeking around my brisk surrounds, waiting endlessly for all the passengers finally jumped into the plane and lifted off, when a hospitable generous sympathetic air steward showed up in front of my face, simply smiled, and asked if it was my unescorted flight with his compassionate voice. He didn’t only stop for nothing, but he gave me an unasked cushion afterwards. For goodness’ sake, I was dazzled by his tender eyed look and the way he cared about me, as the aircraft passenger of course. I did overstate it, but I ever told you that I easily fall for strangers, and that caring and considerate flight attendant is no exception.

So, here I was, fifteen minutes before the touchdown, which meant I had to shut my Mac down and finished my banal writing. So, people, see you soon. I will come up with another nonessential post of mine, as always, and I wish I didn’t bore you with all the details of my life, however if I did, then all I could say is, SORRY.

A tribute for my ETERNAL love. Docs.

source : I ∇ PSYCHO

king of pop has left us, yet his legacy lives on

To tell you the truth, I have never been Michael Jackson's fan, not even thinking myself became his huge fanatic number one fan, but I don't know, somehow, I was totally devastated by his death. It was like suddenly the sky darkened as the sun disappeared behind the looming grey cloud, my visions started blurry, and there was a big hole in my heart, which I neither want to know, nor examine it. I felt bad for being a genuine sucks jackanapes in the way I always poke fun at his bizarre and wacko reported behavior in media, which I was not supposed to, since they were all just rumors and doubtful herasays.

P.S I am sorry, and the last word for the almighty legend, I think the world of you, and I will always be.

Source: MYKROMAG

another reason for living

I was back, people. No, not in Indonesia, but still, in Kuala Lumpur. So yes, I had yet to stay in Kuala Lumpur for the next seven days, before I took my flight back to my best country, Indonesia. Well, to tell you the truth, I had never thought Indonesia as my best country, and I always exceptionally detested Indonesia and regarded it as the worst country ever in this whole universe, but my ten days traveling abroad experience had taught me some lessons and woke me up to face the fact that I do love Indonesia.

So, people, how was your holiday? Mine is fine, if it could not be worsened due to my homesickness after long days in Singapore and Malaysia. You could stamp me as a dreary madcap or whatever pop up in your mind, however I longed for my dearest and nearest people, so please forgive the melancholy atmosphere I brought on lately. When I wrote this writing, I was chewing over my parents and my almighty brother, some friends, my home, specifically my own private messy room, my closet, my other half which is my desktop, and ridiculously, my university life.

Back to the main idea, I had an awe-inspiring time in Kuala Lumpur. There are a lot of walks, explorations, and of course, the shopping could never be missed from the list. My sister and I shopped, a lot. From the knickknacks, school supplies, to a fair amount of things, which fit perfectly in my desperate closet. I spent a lot moola, and I’m an out-and-out big spender for the day.

Well, people, I was being talkative for the uncountable times, which might get you are all bored and turn you off, though I guess it was a sign that I was feeling better. I’m leaving you with some photographs, and please enjoy.

These photographs were taken from Limkokwing University of Creative Technology. They are all super duper brilliant artworks, aren't they?

Pasar Seni.

The all supreme PETRONAS Twin Towers.