i will love you 'till you die, my almost lover

Did I make it hard for you mother? I haven’t been a good daughter, have I?

I am sorry, that’s all I could say to you. I am sorry; I couldn’t even hear my voice as I sobbed myself to sleep. I am sorry for letting you down, but my heart is hurting, and this bruises is fucking pained. Did I hurt you, mother? As I wrote this writing down, I wept my bitter tears thinking of you might shed tears on the quiet. How much I did you wrong, mother, I despised myself for losing my temper over small matter that should have mean nothing to us.

I remember times we argued. They were rough, all wet, and nightmares. I yelled at you like a mental patient, pointed at you as I screamed and cried out. You yelled back at me, we fell into sharp and aggressive quarrels. I was bursting with anger and agony; I couldn’t help myself to hold back but cursing myself for hell. How much I wish I could turn back times. Looking back on those memories makes me totally feel contrite and sorry. I am a bad daughter; I know it in the first place.

P.S I love you, mom. We might sometimes get into a bitter and hurtful fight, but you have to know, that no matter what, you’re still my dearest mother, and I love you so.

I am sorry for this underrated post, people. I know that I’m being weird and somehow eerie, but this is the other element of me. And another information, I’m not trying to gather attention from you, people. I just want to share what I’m feeling on the inside. That's all. I'm sorry if I'm making you sick. Please, just take it.

We'll talk later. I promise you the cheerier of me for the next post.

source: 莫方's photostream