turning 19

Saturday is here already, people. Oh my, how fast the days go by, sometimes it makes me doubt as if I were living a life or not, though the fact is I definitely am still living and breathing as a human being. So tiring, but I think that’s what life supposed to be. Oh my, I feel like I’m already fifty something, though I’m only 18 (turning 19 tomorrow) in real life.

So speaking about age, I am turning nineteen by tomorrow. I’m pretty excited, but not really much, considering to the fact that I’m one step older, and I will be soon no young anymore. Oh, hell, this thought of being 19 is haunting me. Well, you might think I’m exaggerating ‘being 19’ things, and you wish you could slap me in the face, but please, let me tell you the thing about being 19, besides being old and no longer young.

As for myself, being nineteen means I am not eighteen no more, and number 18 was something else in the past. Sounds silly, well, I can’t help, because that’s the fact. Another year has passed me by, brought me into what I called memories, good or bad. There are lots of joyous laughs, numerous fucking hurts scars and bruises, bittersweet tears to wipe and forget, loads of painful argues and misunderstandings, and all sorts of things. I made friends with new people in college, not to mention I’m forgetting my old ones (still loving and missing you guys), reconcile with my family and got closer than I’ve ever been in lifetime, and of course fell in and out love over and over again.

Oh, 18, I love you so, but it’s time to let you go. You’ve been a good year to me, and I sincerely thank you for everything happened, happiness or sorrow, and memories left for me to embrace forever. This isn’t goodbye, because you will forever be the part of me. I won’t trade you for anything in this world, but I never want to have another 18 nonetheless. Just be my only one, and I’ll keep you forever. So sad, but I won’t let this tears fall, I can’t let you see my swollen face in dealing with this separation. So as we wave our goodbye hand, I wish you had an endlessly good sleep in my memory casket.

P.S This desperate heart is still waiting for someone out there to realize how much it loves him. One day he said hello, and this heart burst with buzzes and thrills.

Spoiler: I wrote this writing down at Saturday, November 21^st 2009, but I got the chance to post it on November 22^nd 2009.