are you going to drop the bomb or not?

One word to describe the life at the moment: monotone. And the best part of it, my depression is in the worst state and yet I couldn’t stop a surge of self-pity that makes me feel terribly sick, both emotionally and physically. Ah, shit! This is not what summertime supposed to be. There are should be warm sun, balmy days, brownish sand, beach waves, chilling with good friends, laughing hard until my cheek hurts, walking for hours and not get tired, taking a load of photos, wearing shorts all day, and do nothing but having fun. Ah, geez. I feel so old, boring, and uninspiring. I’d rather say I’m already 19 than only 19. So pathetic, aren’t I?