raw and unedited

Sometimes, I lie on my bed, with pair of eyes wide-open, see through my ceiling as if I could see twinkling stars beneath the dark sky above. I spend half of the whole night by thinking, well not really sure if I did but I just stare at my ceiling silently and feel the loneliness around me. Suddenly, with any expectation, my eyes flooded with damn tears. I don’t feel anything but distraught, and it is extremely hard for me to stop myself not to question what I’m living for, and think maybe it would be heavenly if I just sleep and not wake up forever. I blame my age for acting out like a mental. It wakes me up to reality that age doesn’t come with maturity.

P.S A friend of mine is not telling the truth. Actually he is not lying, but still, he is hiding the truth away from me. I feel sorry for him for having such a rough time, but there’s nothing I can do to comfort him, since he decided to hush up his difficulties from me, and I am supposed to pretend that I don’t know a thing. I feel sorry for myself even more, knowing that I’m not decent enough to be his friend in good and bad times, in this case, bad times.

Additional fact: I had drafted this post on December 11^th, but foolishly forgot to post it, so here is the post, published on December 18^th.

obsessed

Freja Beha Enrichsen by Boo George.

Twin F/W 2009

So yeah, I’m obsessed. I just can’t get her enough.

Oh well, my hair is a total big mess. I don’t even know if it is a good idea to grow them out. I mean, I hate looking my hair in the mirror. It’s totally absurd. I am serious.

source: fashion gone rogue

you don't know my name

Started the day with a panic rush for civics’ morning class, waited for the lecturer to show up for almost an hour or less, only just to know that there was no class for today. I was about to cuss my lecturer for making me woke up so early just to catch her canceled class, though I was much way thankful for having no morning class.

By the way, I bumped into an old friend who used to be my secret crush back in junior high. Been liking him for almost seven years, but I gave up on him, in simple words let’s say it was unrequited love. I barely saw his face because I didn’t have any courage to see his face after so long time, and he also came with bunch of friends, which are dominated with girl, beautiful girls I mean. Well, I know I’m going to regret it before long, because I would never know if I could have any chance to meet him again in the future. Oh well, Heaven knows that I’m making a good lover.

I wore my mom’s vintage black lace corset. Just playing around, and now I have to get back study. Blogging keep me distracted, seriously.

P.S I wish you well, my dear old crush. Hope we’ll meet again. Bye.

geek in the pink

Hello, December. Please, be good to me, I’ll give my best as well. Really wish we could get along well.

Life’s update: I am currently working on my mind, with all the shits going on in life. Well, I didn’t mean to ramble on about any uneasy feelings of mine, but I don’t know, I am just tired.

By the way, related to my previous post about my smart ass review of Ninja Assassin, I would like to say sorry if you don’t see eye to eye with my review. I didn’t mean to confront anyone, so please don’t be offended by my writing. Thank you.

P.S These photographs were taken by Mac's photo booth. Horrible, aren't they? Still working on with self-timer thingy on my sister's nikon. wish me luck people.

it's too bad people aren't happy and smiling all the time

I don’t know if it is normal or not, but I feel somehow down in the dumps knowing that November is going to end soon. I love November, obviously because it is my birthday month, and who doesn’t love their birth month? There’s still a little number who doesn’t, but most of people do love it, and I’m no exception. So, this November is going to end soon, and December is on the horizon, waiting to turn up.

Lately, I’ve fallen head over heels for black colored outfits. Black will never go wrong, and it mostly go well with everything you wear. Truth to be told, I am totally captivated by its mysteriousness and neatness. Simply enthralling. This is what I wore dedicated to best color ever: Black.

P.S I wish I could wear black for the rest of my life. Am currently contemplating to pass down my colored outfits to my sister. Pointless, I know.